"We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation."

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

All Male Fiction: The Butthole Patrol

By: Ben G.
 
 
 
My buddies Mac and Jerry got started on this little kick as a lark one Saturday night after we'd had a few beers. We were feeling pretty raunchy, so when the driver of a little red sports car cut us off on the highway just out of town, we punched the pedal to the metal and took off after him, figuring on passing out a little vigilante justice on lousy drivers.

We chased the fucker for about ten miles before we finally cut him off on a curve and forced him into a freshly plowed field. Jerry cut off the engine and the three of us jumped out of the pickup and ambled over to the car. The driver was sitting behind the wheel, cussing a blue streak when we got there, glowering at us like he'd just as soon shoot us as look at us.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" he shrieked, pounding on the steering wheel in a fury. "You could've killed me!"

"Well," Jerry drawled, leaning on the top of the car, "me and my buddies was thinking pretty much the same thing when you cut us off back there on the highway. We don't like havin' to pick our teeth out of the dashboard any better'n you do."

"When I get back to town, I'm going to have you goddamned pricks arrested!" the guy blustered, the veins in his forehead swelling up like little cables. "I don't need some ignorant rednecks telling me how to drive my car!"

"I figure you need somebody to teach you some manners," I said, opening the guy's door and putting a hand on his shoulder. "Why don't you just step out here and we'll continue this conversation."

"Fuck you!" he snapped.

I tightened my grip on him and jerked him out of the car. He came up to about my shoulder and he was a cute little piece, even if he was steaming mad. He was wearing stylish slacks that showed off his narrow waist and bubble butt, and a pullover shirt that clung to his tight torso like wet paint. The little fucker hauled off and pasted me one in the gut while I was looking him over. I just grunted and shook him 'till his teeth rattled.

"This one really needs to be taken down a peg or two," Mac opined, shaking his head and spitting at the dude's feet. "When I cut up like this as a kid, I always got my ass whipped by my old man."

"Not a bad idea," Jerry seconded. "From what I can see, there's a pretty nice target for us to aim at." He reached out and grabbed a handful of the dude's tight ass, making him squirm in my grip. "Real nice."

"Let's take him over there in the woods and teach him a little lesson," Mac said. "Come on, boys. Let's go."

Jerry grabbed the man's other arm and Mac latched onto his kicking feet. He wasn't heavy, but he sure as hell was feisty, struggling like a wildcat every damn step of the way. When we finally got him to the clearing in the woods we all knew about, we dropped him on the ground. Mac put a foot on his stomach to keep him from running off, and Jerry began unbuckling his wide leather belt and pulling it off.

"You can't do this!" the guy squealed, looking around at us fearfully. "I'll have you arrested!"

"Please yourself," Jerry drawled, smacking the belt against his own denim-clad thigh. "Strip him down to the buff, boys. I wanna see exactly what I'm aiming at."

Mac pulled him to his feet and held the guy's hands behind his back while I peeled him out of his expensive threads. What emerged was real easy on the eye. His gym-buffed frame was compactly muscled, heavy on the pecs like most iron pumpers, but still real nice. He had a nice, flat gut and an ass on him that would've put a bone in any man's cock who got off on punching buttholes. Jerry, Mac and I had all been known to do our share of butt-pounding, so our interest level was high.

"Hold him steady, men," Jerry growled, snapping the leather belt against his thigh again. Mac took one arm and I grabbed the other, and we held our lousy driver up to meet his punishment.

"Aieee!" The dude's scream echoed through the trees as Mac's belt bit into his hot little ass. A red welt appeared on his right cheek almost instantly. Mac adjusted his stance and the belt cut into the other cheek.

Funny thing, after six or seven swats, our wild driver's dick started to wake up. At first, it had been shrunk up to a nub, hiding in his bush. Now, however, it was hanging down a good six inches, looking like it was starting to take an interest in its surroundings. Three or four more solid blows to his ass and the fucker was sporting a hard-on that couldn't be hidden.

"Would you look at that," Jerry chuckled, nodding down at the guy's crotch. "I think our little pal here is starting to enjoy this. He's got him a nice old boner just sniffing around, looking for trouble."

The guy looked from Jerry to me, then down to his dick and back again. He flashed me a little horny grin, groaning softly as Mac's belt bit into his butt again.

Jerry hauled off all of a sudden and smacked his open palm against the dude's left pec. It jerked and twitched and the big brown nipple capping the rise of muscle stood up at attention. I did the same thing with his other one and his dick started pointing straight up in the air. A few more solid slaps to his belly and thighs had his prick pulled up tight against his belly and his balls hugging his shaft.

I was just thinking it was time to take some pressure off my own balls when I looked back at Mac. He'd obviously had him the same idea; his cock was hanging out of his pants, the big knob on the end glowing like a cherry. I nodded at Jerry and put a hand on the shoulder of the guy we were teaching a lesson to. Jerry did the same and we bent the little fucker forward until his red-hot ass was pointing right at Mac.

"Oh, yes. Fuck, yes," the dude howled with lust when Mac rammed into him, deep and hard. He was way beyond ready by this point, his hot butt twitching like he was itching real bad, way up deep inside. Mac pumped and bumped, getting this real blissful smile on his mug. It seemed like our new fuck buddy sure knew how to handle a cock.

Before I could get the buttons on my fly popped, Mac was grunting and groaning, and then he staggered back, his prick still dripping. "That is some piece of ass," he sighed happily. "Dive on in, guys. You won't regret it."

Jerry let go of the guy's arm and instead of trying to swing at me, the man just braced his hand on his thigh and waited for Jerry to fuck him.

My buddy Jerry has a long fuck stick, with a little crook to the right. He slipped it to the bad driver and the dude moaned and bucked, giving Jerry quite a ride. He had Jerry's rocks popped in nothing flat, then turned on me, damn near climbing my frame, he was so hot to trot.

I took up my position and pressed my knob up against the dude's cum-sloppy crack. I got me one of them beer can cocks, you know, hard to swallow in one gulp, but real satisfying once you get down to it. Well, this guy was sloshing with man-cream and loose as a goose after getting fucked twice, so he took me down to the short-and-curlies with no trouble at all. He even reached back and grabbed me by the ass just to be sure he didn't slip off and fall flat on his face.

Well, let me tell you, I rode that little fucker from one side of that clearing to the other. It takes me a long time to get my rocks off, and he seemed to enjoy every crack-pounding, ball-jarring minute of it. By the time I was finally up to the mark, so was he, and we bellowed like bulls as we got our rocks off.

I don't know whether the fucker drove any better as a result of our little session, but he sure was in a better mood after we helped to push his car back onto the road.

Since then, my buddies and I have been patrolling the road every weekend, looking for bad drivers. Seems like we manage to find one or two every damn time we go out!
 
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1 comment:

  1. Wow! This gave me a hardon.....well done!

    ReplyDelete